Even at a young age, art and art appreciation have played a significant role in my life. My mother was naturally talented in many forms of artistic expression including drawing, painting, and ceramics and as her son, I was regularly exposed to the world of art and various mediums and tools. Museums, gallery exhibitions, trade shows - these were all a part of my life growing up and these skills and talents had great value associated with them by my mother though not by an overly athletic family for which I was not an outcast by any means but also not fully included as I had no athletic ability or interest in sports - I felt that I spent my life on the outside looking in and sharing my love of art with the only other person in my life that valued it - my mother.

I have always felt a deep connection and appreciation for the arts and I have struggled with having this love for the arts but in my mind, holding very little talent personally. I compared myself to other people and there was always a more talented and gifted person out there and my own inner critic kept me from really pursuing art in any meaningful way in my life goals - I would only participate in artistic activities as a way to spend more time with my mother but ultimately I would always continue to compare my abilities to hers or others and I always felt that I just fell short in talent. So my art was the thing of "fridge art" - displayed as a sign of support from someone who loved me unconditionally. In the real world of art and critics - meaningless.

These past few years having lost my mother to a quick and painful battle with cancer, I found that I needed a way to escape my grief so I returned to painting as a way to center myself. As I began to invest time and supplies into my art again I began to notice a sense of reconnection to my core spirit, the thrill of creating and sharing something unique and new, and a sense of my mom's presence near me - the sense that she was looking over my shoulder as I worked on an art piece and at times I felt that if I could just look back fast enough I would actually see her there behind me smiling and enjoying our time together.

I soon began to feel the therapeutic nature of creating art once again and it became my safe place and where I would go to feel reconnected to my mother - I found our relationship could continue through the creative process. I began to slowly and carefully share my artwork with friends and family to shelter myself from harsh criticism and their overly positive response and support for my art are helping me to combat lifelong self-doubt and insecurities that have plagued me. Am I better than I had always thought? Does it really matter if I'm not? I'm finally starting to understand that it doesn't.

So I am now at the point in my life where I have looked inward and asked who am I? My occupation, what pays the bills has always been technology - at times creative but certainly not an artistic expression. I manage a team of highly skilled technicians that support physicians and patient care through the use of new and innovative technologies. This is whom people see and perceive me to be mostly - but who I am is actually rooted much deeper in creativity and the arts and it is in those things that I find that I am renewed and made whole - those things that feed and nourish my soul. I now make art for me and me alone - not the critics or naysayers, and in that, I have found purpose, meaning, and acceptance for my art.

Do I have a particular style? Do I use a particular technique? I have no idea and it really doesn't matter - I paint what, when and how I am inspired to do so because as I have recently observed about myself is that I have no choice but to create and be renewed through the process.